It’s been a while…

I’ve spend so much time away from this blog, it’s as if it isn’t mine.  Last years elections wore me out as I got sick of the mudslinging between the candidates supporters.  But I’m back. Some thoughs:

The mainstream media loves Barack Obama like the way a college student loves beer.

The Republicans haven’t seemed to learn much from their losses.  They still talk about taxes, taxes, taxes and show intolerance toward the fact that we really are a diverse nation.

The Democrats are weaker than they believe themselves to be.   They’re in uncharted territory.

Gay marriage, while important to many and a legitimate issue to consider, is irrelevant to the vast majority of voters.

Barack Obama isn’t a socialist, but he’s coming close.

But then again, a lot of hard-right Republicans aren’t fascists, but some of them come close too.

Nancy Pelosi irritates me, politically.  She also has a smile that will someday will break her face.  She encompasses what I can’t stand about the Democratic Party.

Rush Limbaugh ecompasses what I can’t stand about the Republican Party.  Toss in Dick Cheney with that.

Newt Gingrich can make sense when he’s not being overly harsh.

This is no longer a center right country.

Mitt Romney’s description of Barack Obama’s approach to overseas issues as being a “Tour of Apology” is crap.  Trying to relate and point out past mistakes is completely appropriate.

But showing the world pictures of American personnel hurting and torturing Muslims isn’t.  Other innocent Americans will lose their lives because of it.  Including U.S. soldiers.

It wouldn’t bother me one bit if James Van Brunn, the white supremecist that shot to death security guard Stephen Johns in the Holocaust Museum, dies from his wounds.  In fact, I hope the bastard dies.

Being a white male, it would be nice to know what Sonia Sotomayor meant by that wise Latina/white male comment.

And Afghanistans and Paksistan are the new players in a 21st Century of the Domino Theory.  That’s very, very scary.

Well, that’s it for now.  Time to hit the sack.

A new, healthy client

I recently got a new client who’s starting a new business of his own.  He’s  a top caterer in a major city, but he’s changing gears.   His name is Greg and he’s strong environmentalist.  So, he’s now establishing a consultancy to help anything from restaurants and other caterers all the way up to large entities that provide dining services (universities, hospitals, etc) “go green”.  That means local and organic.

It’s inspiring.  As I get older, I’m becoming more careful with my diet.  You hear about clogged arteries, the epidemic of obesity, early diabetes…and you perhaps don’t realize those things can happen to you.  They haven’t – yet.  But they can.

I plan to learn a lot from Greg.

And that means finding local and organic places to buy food.

A new Greatest Generation

The past few weeks I’ve seen not one, not two, but three young men with missing limbs.  One had lost an arm, one a leg, and the most recent, both legs.  Maybe I’m wrong, but their relatively close cropped hair signified that they were military.

The DC area has Walter Reed and Bethesda Naval Hospital.  Inside those walls and in other military facilites are perhaps hundreds of returning servicemen and servicewomen who’ve come back from war in a different physical conditon than what they were when they left.

I’ve read where the medical breakthroughs that have happened over the years have resulted in a much lower rate of KIAs that we’ve had in previous wars.  That’s absolutely great.

But it misses something major.  Many of those that are saved nevertheless suffered so grevious injuries that they’re permanently scarred, disfigured, or handicapped.  I’ve heard – I can’t remember where that it may number in the tens of thousands.  Like the young men I now see.

Much has been made of the “Greatest Generation”, the World War II generation of GI Joe’s who went to war to fight fascism and then came home to build this country and to take the lead on civil rights and other great things.  As a son of a mon and a dad who were most definitely part of that generation, I can say that I definitely deserve that title.

But I’m wondering now if there is a new generation of greats.  Or those who have answered they country’s call to serve.

Whenever the Washington Post features their Faces of the Dead (I think that’s what they call it), I make sure I take a look at each picture and read each profile.  I’ll hear stories of a kid somewhere who joined the military after 9/11.  Of how they dedicate their lives for their country.  And sometimes sacrifice that life.

This isn’t a pro-Iraq war statement.  I was against it before it started.

Often one generation disparages the next as being soft and pampered.  I’ll never do that.  Instead, I see a new Greatest Generation.  And I’ll always be grateful.

A tragic day of innocence lost

This morning I woke up to a jarring story in the newspaper.  The killer of Adam Walsh was finally identified.

On July 27, 1981, Adam went into a deparment store with his mother.  She lost track of him for just a second…and he was abducted by the person we now known as his killer, Ottis Toole.  Adam’s head was found two weeks later in a nearby canal.  His body has never been recovered.

This story gripped America.  It was one of those turning points in which a singlular event caused massive, but subtle changes in our society.  I was still a teen when Adam was abducted.  As I look at his picture now, I automatically recognize him.  I’ll never forget him.  In a way he became everyone’s little boy.  The freckled-faced gap-toothed baseball cap wearing kid.  The picture was the type of picture that parents and grandparents would have on a coffee table or a fireplace mantle or on the living room wall.

When I was a kid in junior high, I’d walk to the bus stop alone.  Today, by habit, I walk my son to his.  (The bus comes at 6:30 a.m. so it’s completely dark out).  Each kid there has a parent nearby.  It’s as if each of us has a feeling that we should be there.  I can’t help but think that unconsciously we’re doing it because of Adam

I have to say that I admire John Walsh and the way he made this a crusade.  He had to.  Now we’ve got systems in place that, while not being able to prevent these tragedies, can make them more rare.

Today, I’m going to say a special prayer for the Walsh family and, most especially, for Adam.  And my son is going to get extra hugs for a reason that he knows nothing of.

A lesson learned in loyalty

I learned a lesson in life yesterday. A small lesson, but telling nevertheless.

I work as an online marketing consultant with a strong focus on social media. I also work as a waiter for a couple of shifts at a local restaurant here in Northern Virginia. I wanted to help out the second job I have (waiter) with my expertise from what I primarily do (online marketing).

I should point out that the restaurant actually has three locations (Virginia, DC, Maryland) and the people that own them also own a fourth restaurant – a different name and menu – on Capitol Hill.

I’ve been at that restaurant for over two years. That’s often long in the restaurant world. Business has been slow due to slowing economy so I figured I’d come up with a marketing programs that involved blogger relations to bring in business. Simply put, I’d reach out to 25-40 local prominent bloggers to see if they’d like a gift card of $25 (or maybe $20) to have them come in and try the restaurant. This would allow them to write a review on their blog where thousands of readers could read them.

I’d also put together a 2 -4 minute video introducing the place to the bloggers and then I’d also put the video on YouTube.

Now the restaurant has been trying to increase business by using low level cheap tactical stuff…the type of stuff that never works. The problem is that tactics such as these aren’t designed to work. They’re designed to be cheap. And cheap for the sake of cheap doesn’t work. Ever.

So I submitted the proposal. It will probably take me about 120-140 hours over three months to implement and manage. I want to charge $900. That includes the video shot in four places.

Nine hundred bucks ain’t much. It’s cheap…but not for the sake of being cheap. Let’s put it this way. $900/3 months = $300 per month. $300/30 days = $10 per day. $10/4 restaurants = $2.50 per restaurant per day. We probably waste $2.50 in bread going bad per shift.

So I submit the proposal and it “looks good” but it looks doubtful. The owners actually live in Connecticut and I’ve never met them. It’s almost impossible to get a proposal approved without talking to the decisions makers. But what turned me off was a reason as to why it will likely be turned down. My direct general manager told me a reason he was told was “If we were going to do it, why wouldn’t we do it ourselves?”

Wait a minute. Putting aside that they can’t do it themselves and that the things that they’ve done themselves have been colossal failure, let’s take a look at what was said. “Why wouldn’t we do it ourselves?”

I’ve been there for two years. I feel a sense of loyalty to the restaurant, to the management, to my co-workers. But two years of service for some reason has yet to make me part of “we”.

That mindset is bad management. Now it wasn’t the manager from my store that necessarily feels this way. And although it may be the Director of Operations that said it, it probably reflects the mindset of the owners. And mindset that trickles down. A mindset that breeds disloyalty.

I may still get the work. But I’ll have to lower my price. And I’ll be doing it with that mindset that breeds disloyalty.

Dadomatic is the place to be

The greatest joy of my life came into this world on July 27, 1995. His name was Connor. My father always told me that when I grew up and had a child it would be the best thing that ever happened to me. He was right.

One thing about Dads though. Being men, we seem to have less of a need to congregate in these warm, fuzzy groups. We’re sensitive, but we also have a need to hide that. We also tend to be humble about being fathers.

Enter Dadomatic.

Started by Chris Brogan and Dariano “Paisano” Carta, Dadomatic is home to a growing list of a growing list (40 plus at this point) of online dads who write stories of fatherhood, of families, and of their kids. It’s a very much needed concept because many of us online spend so much time writing about the medium as place to connect and to express that we, being dads, need a place to do just that about, well, being dads.

Because I think deep inside, we want to share, to connect, to commiserate with other dads. Yes, we are (most of us, anyway) are softies inside when it comes to our kids. Now we’ve got a place to hang. A Dadomatic wiki has been created and we are in the nascent stages of planning get together next year a la BlogHer.

I’m already going to review a cook book with a health food focus. Should arrive any day now.

See, this is the type of stuff that makes the internet great.

On Veterans Day

My son never got to really meet his grandfather. That’s something that I don’t want to accept but I have to. But on June 12, 1996, my dad suddenly passed away from a heart attack. Connor was 10 1/2 months old.

I do have a wonderful picture of my father holding my son. It sits upon my dresser and it always will, whenever and wherever I have a dresser.

Last year on Veteran’s Day, when he was in sixth grade his teacher asked the kids in his class to stand if they knew someone who had served in the military. Connor, knowing that his grandfather had served in World War II, stood up for Philip A. Trenn Jr. He served as in the U.S. Army in the Aleutians.

Many of my generation, with the exception of those that served, quite often never understood the concept of military service. We respected it, but it was often a somewhat distant idea. Our fathers and uncles may have served in World War ll or Korea, and we may have marched in a few parades if we were in Scouting. We knew it was noble. But we were also part the post-Vietman era, where military service was somewhat unfairly and unfortunately derided. To me, this was a disgrace. (I once considered going to OCS for the Marine Corps and people asked me why I wanted to kill people, or for that matter, to die).

The reality is that it is those very veterans that serve that keep us safe. Simply by their service. And at times, horrible sacrifice.

As the World War II generation began passing away in greater numbers, their sons and daughters began to really understand what they had accomplished. We watched Saving Private Ryan and the Band of Brothers. We read The Greatest Generation. Sure, there had been plenty of war movies and novels and other types of media devoted to the “men in uniform”, but many younger people saw them as action films. Just like many today see military-oriented video games as fun and exciting.

Korean War veterans have never really gotten their due. They’re often meshed in with World War ll vets as the two wars were relatively close together timewise or they are meshed with those of the Vietnam War as we were fighting Asian communists from the northern part of a country. For many, the Korean War was the TV show M*A*S*H*.

In the eighties, we began to understand that Vietnam veterans, too, were noble. And were worthy of every bit of respect as those in previous generations. Long, long overdue.

But now it’s time to honor and thank a new generation of veterans. Those that are serving as we speak. Before they are forgotten.

I came upon this story in the Washington Post. It’s about a new organization for Iraqi and Afghanistan veterans, the IAVA. These young men and women may be spending early adulthood in a foreign hositle land, risking their lives. They are leaving loved ones behind here in the state for months upon months. Thousands have come back injured, physically, emotionally, or both. At times to horrible conditions because they aren’t a priority. Sure, we may appreciate them in a generic sense, but we then forget and go on with out lives. While we can’t honor them everyday. But we need to remain vigilant, as a society, and to ALWAYS return to honor to them that they have given to us.

I’m starting today. How about you?

Defending John McCain

In my last post, I went after those that unfairly trash Barack Obama.

As I read the tweets from various people on Twitter and read the posts from various left wing blogs, I once again can reaffirm my belief that political left can be as vicious as the political right.

John McCain has been accused of being a racist, a traitor, abusive toward women, corrupt, and literally, not an American.  I’ve had three people on Twitter continually spew out hate filled Tweets about the man, much of it was rehashed half truths or twisted thoughts about the man.  Just as we see with those that oppose Barack Obama, we know see with the same with John McCain.  We’ve got people who will take any rumor or anything slightly derogatory and treat is as the gospel truth as long at is against the person they now have come to hate.

I’ve seen people try to portray McCain as someone who’s betrayed his own country and his fellow prisoners because he broke under torture from his captors in Vietnam.  I can’t imagine the horror of going through all of that for 5 1/2 hours let alone 5 1/2 years.  McCain, at first, had it easier than his fellow prisoners and was offered early release as a propaganda piece by the North Vietnamese.  He refused, keeping in accordance with the principle that those that first captured should get first release.  Upon this decision, McCain’s treatment became horrendous.  You can bet that his self-righteous critics, safely sitting in their living rooms blogging or twittering about how he betrayed his fellow prisoners, wouldn’t be able to stand a day enduring what McCain had to go through.

Not only do those that attack McCain on this twist history to meet their hate filled diatribes, they also ignore McCain’s brave opposition to the Bush Administration’s policy of using torture on prisoners from thw wars that we are currently having.  That, of course, doesn’t surprise me.

I’ve also seen McCain attacked because of his involvement in the Keating 5 scandal.  What he essentially did was attend a meeting called together by his fellow Arizona senator Dennis DeConcini – a Democrat who I almost worked for – on behalf of a prominent Arizona businessman, Charles Keating.  Now, Keating and McCain were friends and Keating had given McCain plenty of money in campaign contributions.  They had spent time together socially.  But in this meeting, it became clear that Keating wanted McCain to so something that was clearly unethical. Unlike, DeConcini, McCain angrily refused.  For this, his name was dragged through the mud and permanently tainted.

Many thought at the time, including me, that the Democrats wanted to spread the scandal around to include McCain because they wanted to have at least one Republican as part of it.  In doing so, they trashed two Democrats, John McCain and Don Reigle who were largely innocent as well.

What kills me is that many of the people who attack McCain about the Keating 5 had no clue of what the whole episode was about.  They probably hadn’t heard of it beforehand and certainly couldn’t name the other four.  But then again in politics, when you’re attacking someone, learning about what you’re saying isn’t important.  Attacking is.

Whether or not John McCain ends up becoming president of the United States or not is not the issue of this post.  The issue of this post is that John McCain is a great American who has sacrificed and served his country more than any of his critics could imagine.

Race and morons

I didn’t intend this new blog to be an angry platform, but we’re in the last week of the election and I have to get this off my chest.

This post may have been more appropriate a few weeks ago. Maybe a month ago. Now it appears that we may be on the verge of electing the first African American a president of the United States. That hasn’t happened yet, and anything can happen. Including some dangerous things as we found out today. But a week from today Barack Obama will likely become president-elect.

A few disclosures first. I like John McCain. I’m politically equidistant between John McCain and Barack Obama. This is the first presidential election where I was sort of enthusiastic about BOTH candidates. For different reasons of course. So this post is not an anti-McCain diatribe. For that matter, I wouldn’t have any major problem with John McCain being the next president of the United States. Like Colin Powell, I believe both candidates are qualified, excellent candidates.

What got me concerned was that I heard for the umpteenth time that someone (a white person) wasn’t going to vote for Barack Obama because 1) “he’ll be only for the blacks” or 2) “if he’s elected, blacks will think they own the place”. I’ve heard this all A LOT…much too often. It wasn’t about issues – health care, Iraq, education, the economy, global warming. It had nothing to do with John McCain – he wasn’t even mentioned in these person’s points. No, it wasn’t anything related about substance.

It was strictly about race.

Today’s challenge got to me

Today was an especially hard day for me.

My son is the biggest part of my life. He’s precious to me. His name is Connor. I’m very thankful to be a father and even more thankful that I had such a wonderful father myself.

My son has learning disabilities. They, as I keep on finding out, are subtle but severe. You can’t really tell because he seems young for his age. He’s relatively small and has a younger face. He also has Aspergers Syndrome, which is on the autism spectrum. It’s called “high functioning” and it affects his academically and socially. He also has a hard time with some fine motor skills.

I’m a single dad. His mom is definitely involved in his life, but I’ve been his primary caretaker for most of his life and it can be hard. You see, today I was trying to get him to understand simple arithmetic. Basically, I was trying to get him to fully learn what number  + what number equals ten. 6 + 4, 7 + 3, 8 + 2. He couldn’t get right it a slight majority of the time. It was 7 + 2 or 8 + 3. My son can’t add single digits to equal 10. Connor is 13.

I don’t know how to help him fully get it. He’s forgotten how to ‘carry’ the one in equations, …so 19 + 10 = 29, but 19 +11 = 20. Children in first grade are learning this.

He gets frustrated and embarrassed. He gets tears in his eyes. I get a lump in my throat but I have to appear confident in him.

After a half hour of him getting things alternatively right and then wrong, I had to go for a long walk by myself. It was a truly beautiful fall day. I came upon this small park that I didn’t know existed. No one was there…it was just this small section of grass surrounded by small trees with two stone benches. I sat down and kinda looked off in the distance. Didn’t know what to think. The whole time my chest was tightened up.

I’m afraid that Connor doesn’t know the challenges he’s going to face. I’m afraid I don’t know them either.